The Great Emoji Purge Needs to End
They’ll have to rip the “heart-eyes emoji” from my lifeless fingers
Image generated by Substack
Texters, have you ever been accused of being a corporate shill because you dropped a heart-eyes emoji? It’s happened to me four times this month alone. I used to think I was just being friendly, but apparently, a few emojis in a group chat are enough to brand me as a soulless algorithm. Am I human? Am I just a walking ad campaign?
This must be what it’s like to be a TikTok influencer.
It used to be autocorrect fails that sparked my digital dread, but now it’s emojis. Specifically, the cheerful ones. I’m not even kidding.
The “Smiley Overload”
If you use a “smiling face with smiling eyes” or a “partying face emoji” on social media these days, the accusations fly faster than a viral cat video.
“Brand account detected!” “Corporate bot alert!” “AI-generated positivity!”
Before you chalk this up to spending too much time on X, this narrative has already spread from group chats to glossy think pieces:
Are Emojis the New Sign of Inauthentic Communication? Posts on X claim that excessive emoji use signals AI-driven marketing or chatbot activity, with some users arguing that…
The saddest part? Nobody calling out emojis as the work of soulless bots seems to know why they’re so suspicious. They’re just “too happy,” “too polished,” or “trying too hard.”
It’s like people have forgotten what it’s like to just like something.
And Another Thing…
It’s not just emojis catching heat. Certain phrases are now persona non grata, according to the self-appointed authenticity police.
Sure, “super excited” might be a bit overenthusiastic, but does that mean only a chatbot could type it? Words like “amazing,” “thrilled,” or even “game-changer” are now apparently red flags for AI-generated hype.
These critics must’ve never read a motivational poster. Or an email from their boss. You know, the ones that give you a metaphorical gold star for “crushing it.”
Some folks argue that upbeat language is just pandering to the reader, but I’ll shout this from the rooftops: it’s about connecting with people. Not everyone wants to read a dry, academic thesis. Some audiences, like casual readers or social media scrollers, appreciate a little enthusiasm. And don’t get me started on corporate clients. They live for “game-changer.”
A Proper Text? Clearly a Bot!
Here’s the one that really grinds my gears. I was recently browsing a forum’s posting rules, and they explicitly banned messages that followed this structure:
- Greeting or friendly opener
- Main point or question
- Polite sign-off
You know, a normal text message? Their reasoning? That format supposedly screams “AI-generated fluff.”
Come on, people. It’s called being polite. Artificial Intelligence didn’t invent saying “Hi, hope you’re well!” before asking a question. If you grew up with any semblance of manners, you probably learned this before you could tie your shoes.
Officially as polite as a kindergartener? Congrats, you’re a bot! Sorry to break it to you.
Now, you could argue that a text message and a professional email aren’t the same, and you’d be right. But I’d counter that the vibe is pretty darn close.
This post, and honestly most of what I write, follows a similar flow:
- This is driving me up the wall
- Here’s why it’s driving me up the wall
- Please stop driving me up the wall
Sound familiar? Maybe I am a bot. Hope my data plan doesn’t get throttled. They still let AI text, right? Right?
In Conclusion
See what I did there?
What bugs me most about this whole mess is that it ignores one crucial fact — AI doesn’t pull this stuff out of thin air. It’s trained on human communication.
Chatbots don’t invent emojis or coin phrases like “super excited” unless we feed them the idea first. The reason it’s so hard to spot AI sometimes? It’s mimicking us.
“Game-changer” is overused because humans loved it, repeated it, and plastered it across LinkedIn long before AI was even a thing. People say “thrilled” because it’s a normal word; AI says it because it’s been scraping our emails and posts for years.
Human texts will sometimes sound like AI because AI learned from humans first. So, in a way, aren’t we all just a little bit bot-like?
Now, please, stop driving me up the wall.